The definition of success: thoughts from a Palestinian entrepreneur, thoughts from an American girl in Palestine

Tonight I had the surprisingly great pleasure of attending an entrepreneurship meetup in Ramallah. What this means is, a group of business leaders and such in Ramallah got together, made a group, invited speakers, then invited local movers and shakers to attend the speaking events. Let's be clear, I am not a mover and shaker; I am a substitute mover and shaker for when my boss is out of town.

I was not looking forward to this; it was some guy from Microsoft talking about entrepreneurship, I was there specifically for business reasons, I was feeling sort of sick, and it involved putting tighter pants on than my work-sweats (let's be real, tight pants are the worst!). So there I found myself, trudging across Ramallah in tightpants and a blazer, cutting through 15 or so milling men (awkward) to find a coffee, a seat by myself, and some sense of strategic purpose. Mostly I wanted to slouch and pick at my nails; I have a tendency to do that, even when fully engaged. It's how I think. That, and fully stretching my upper body across whatever table I find myself in front of. I was told at my previous employer that this was bad for my brand, however, so I try to be more brand-aware now. (Oh, what's personal branding, you ask? Well, as far as I could ever tell it meant psychologically disengaging from yourself enough to actually view yourself as a corporation maneuvering in the marketplace of humanity. Obviously, I suck at personal brand management. I am the Mom and Pop store getting crushed by Walmart. I am ok with that.)

So to my delightful surprise, this talk ended up being one of the best I have ever attended. This guy was for real (one of my highest compliments). It was his story of leaving Microsoft to start up a business, having it fail, and coming back to Microsoft. It was utterly compelling, totally smart, very human, and had me hanging on the edge of my chair while simultaneously picking at my nails and slouching (sorry, Peter Kim! I'm trying!!). I loved loved loved it.

One of the things he said struck me somewhere deep inside, the place where this blog lives and where, when it gets struck, my first impulse is to scratch something out for Boomtown Arabia. He was asked how he defined success. He paused, and then said the following (light paraphrasing, but I basically think I have it in its entirety):

"I got asked this once when I was on a panel. I thought it was a very good question, and didn't really know how to answer it. It's a tough one, yeah? The gentleman next to me asked if he could field it. Go ahead, I said. He said something I thought was so perfect. He said that he measures his own success in three ways: '(1) Am I doing something I am totally passionate about and which gives me energy? (2) Am I taking a risk, am I demonstrating courage in my job/life? (3) Am I doing the best I can?

'If I live up to those three criteria, if all are a full and resounding yes, then I am successful. I am giving no one else the power to do that, because they can't. I get to say if I am a success or not, because only I know if I am fulfilling those three things.'"

I loved this. I've never heard such a clear articulation of the way I hope to live my life. I've gotten some great advice over the years, most prominently "never make any decision based on fear or money; both are overrated", and this seemed to capture that advice and push it forward to a point of generation and aspiration. It made me wonder: how do other people define their own success? It is a tough one.

For me, the best part of this, the hardest part, was the 'am I doing by best?' question. So often I am not. My best comes through maybe 20% of the time; the rest is a mashup of lazyness, boredom, and save-my-ass-wit. But, the times when I have really pushed myself to...push myself, it's felt great. I think I shall start trying to live more by these metrics; not in a gross evaluative way, just in a nice mindful way. What about you? How do you define success?

And, oh!, another good question I've been working out over here in the People's Republic of Palestine, does success differ between 'job' and 'life'? For some reason, I don't think so, or at least not for me. I don't really wear two hats. If I'm proven to be living both a personal and professional life of passionate, risk-taking best, well well well...I'll be one happy girl. That, and a passionate, risk-taking dog - high-fives all around.