Du Calme

If the Western media hasn't been covering it, I wouldn't be surprised, but there's been a lot of protest in Palestine lately over the extremely high cost of living.  There's a general strike today, there's tires burning in the middle of the city, and it's as tense as I've ever felt it on the streets.  It's like a ghost town outside.  Pretty freaky.

I had a surreal experience yesterday where I got a bikini wax by a lovely Israeli woman who, while laying hot wax on me and ripping it off, in perhaps the most compromising position ever, simultaneously chatted me about how much she loved the army and almost killed an Arab - huzzah!  Here's how the conversation went, with my thoughts in italics:

Lady: "I loved the army.  I stayed an optional extra year."

Oh my god oh my god oh my god.

Kristen: "Oh yeah?  What about it did you like?"

Lady: "You get to play with weapons, huge weapons like rocket launchers.  And one time I almost got to kill an Arab!"

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kristen: "Oh, were you stationed in the West Bank?"

Please say no please say no please say no ouch! please say no

Lady: "No, near the Jordan border.  It was late at night, and I was in the middle of the desert, and me and my team heard Arabic being spoken - and Arabic in the dark is never a good thing!"

I feel the same way about Hebrew, my friend.

Lady: "So I put on my night vision goggles and there was an Arab so close!  I cocked my gun to shoot, but it didn't work.  But the Arab had heard my gun being loaded and ran away."

Thank God thank God wow this is so crazy.

Me: "Wow, well - that was close.  How old were you?"

Lady: "20!  Just a kid."

Me: "A kid with a rocket launcher."

Lady (grinning): Yeah!


Israelestine - never fails to disappoint.